Hi Deb and nitaf, thanks for responding. We do alot of fun things together. We have date night every thursday, do the beach, the movies, walk, I help him study, talk about just about everything, go out to dinner alone and with couple friends. I am telling you guys everything is just about perfect with the exception of intimacy. I try backrubs and wearing lingerie and he knows what my message is, he just will pull my hands away, hold them and off to sleep he goes. Why could he have sex with these tramps but refuses me regularly? Our sex life was never more than just ok. A few months ago we answered the questions in the book "the story of us" and when asked if you prefer to be the teacher or the student when it comes to sex, we both said student. My H had never had sex with anyone but me prior to our marriage, now of course he has lots to compare me to. Why would a man withhold sex unless he just doesnt feel anything. His OW told me he told her I was fat and just didnt do it for him. That haunts me everyday. I dont know what to do. Also the few times that we have had sex, (the last time was over a month ago) he has trouble finishing, cant quite get there. He says it is because he is out of shape and has trouble catching his breath. Why is he working so hard? I cant get over the thoughts that his body is betraying his true emotions. This just sucks after all of this work.
