HP, Thanks for the post. I agree with most of what you said. (If I agreed with everything you'd think I was easy. )
It really is her path. I've learned how to differentiate and HOM a lot better than before. So much so that W pretty much hates PM when I use it, although she agrees it's a great book.
I've made my position clear and haven't made any requests of her at all. I've just told her what it would take, if she chooses to have things different than they are now. But I've been very up front that she's under no pressure to do anything. I'm firm in my position and feel better about it, too.
Her admitting that she has been uninvolved, unenthusiastic and holding back was huge. That was the 1st time ever. She admitted that she "didn't know what was wrong" with her. I told her that if she chooses to face whatever she's afraid of, I'll help rather than push her.
Since then she's requested I bring her a copy of TSSM to read, been complimentary of my workout results, and initiated some physical contact. For all of these I've expressed appreciation at face value w/o indicating that I expect more. This could be a long term crucible result. We'll have to wait and see.
Congrats on your improvements at home. I still don't understand your H's reaction to your "advances", but you seem to be handling it a lot better than before. Growth is good! But that's why all us fixers are here, huh?
)
