My W does the EXACT same thing. The few occasions (used to be more often, before I began the "He Who Cares the Least" thing) where we've discussed our mutual unhappiness, she has ALWAYS made it immediately about MY issues. I can boil it all down to:
She is not desireous of me because I am not a happy nor confident person. I am not a happy nor confident person because she is not desireous of me. For her to BE desireous of me, I have to BECOME a happier and more confident, first . I cannot fake that, at least for any length of time (and she has told me that this would take months if not YEARS now that we've become so distant), and also cannot maintain my integrity by acting like something I'm not.
But it's ALWAYS me, and she refuses to face her own issues.
Choc., whose FAVORITE show in the whole history of TV is Andy Griffith!
