Thanks MicheleTW -- I will check out the book. I think you are right that his LL is quality time. I will say that yes, it's true that we definitely don't spend enough time on us. I think that really came home to me in September when we were an "angel couple" at a retrouvaille weekend. Prior to the weekend, I was feeling so restless and unhappy -- disconnected from dh. By Sunday night we were feeling so close and intimate. We agreed on the need to keep up with our dialoguing and date nights. BUT we haven't done it! We've only dialogued a couple of times in the past month and I don't think we've had a single date night.
It is very frustrating, but it's very difficult. DH doesn't have a say in where and when the family goes places because he doesn't have any interest in going anywhere or doing anything. If I suggest a date night for us he'll agree amiably -- as long as I plan where we're going, what we're doing, and line up a babysitter. Well, I'm sick of being the person responsible for all of it, so I don't do it very often.
BTW, on our retro weekend, dh was signing his letters "I love you" by Sunday afternoon. I was more disturbed than happy, and when he started saying "ILY" again the following week, I wasn't very enthusiastic in my replies to him. The next weekend I confessed to him my feelings that I was afraid he was only saying it because I had shared with him how ready I was to throw in the towel on our marriage. He didn't rush to reassure me, but did say that he had noticed my lukewarm reception and thought perhaps he had waited too long to say it again and that I didn't feel as though I loved him anymore. I told him that no, I do love him, but was just gun-shy, so to speak. So ever since we've been saying ILY again to each other, but I still don't trust that his feelings are true.
This is ending up to be a depressing post, when it should be a happier one. Sigh. Okay, okay, I will DEFINITELY make date night a SACRED, at LEAST once-a-month occasion, and FORCE myself to make more time alone with dh. It's not that it's a big sacrifice -- I just have so many demands on my time, that it seems like one sometimes. That's so pitiful.
