Some days are so hard. THe ghosts that live in our new house that are reminders of the A are sometimes unbearable. From his birthday written in on the calendar, to music and the occasional nightmare memory, I nearly drive myself crazy some days. And then talking to her is a joke. She is so great somedays but then there are days like today. I want her to try reading books that can help her, but she wont, see a MC but she wont, "No time", "Too much money", but yet she can't get through a day without thinking about him. I know I am the better man, and I know we will win in the long run, but some days are so hard...I wish she could only see and feel for real how much I really love her. I would have never let her walk away...I still won't let her go. Why must there be some women who can't see what they have, when there are others out there who would kill to have me. God I miss my life. My stability. My confidence. My sense of humor. I'm only the shell of the person I once was, and I guess I need to get that back. But how do you do it when everything you were was wrong for everything you ever wanted? I guess that is the secret.
