This is a very helpful post for me - I have read it several times this morning and this evening, and there's a lot to chew on.
In the car today, as we were coming back from sailing, I thanked my wife for hanging in there and believing that I love her even when it doesn't feel like it. That seemed meaningful to her (it got me a good hug, at any rate ;-> )
I don't think either my wife or I can write down as clear a list as you have for your relationship. It's a useful checklist for our discussions. We had an interesting discussion today where she agreed that shell pay attention to what does and does not make her feel more loved and let me know, and I agreed not to feel guilty about anything she's not helping me know that I need to do.
More later...I really appreciate the time and thought you put into that message. It was helpful.
