Here we go!!!

[NotATLDave]

Ummm....I'm not sure how to depict what happened this evening on this thread.

In the last post, I stopped in the middle of writing and decided to go into the bedroom because, once my head cleared up and started making sense of the argument we had, I realized that she made a very bold move which helped alleviate my disappointment (though it took about 7 minutes for me to relax and "see" it for the emotional bid that it was.

Anyway, we got into a little bit of a heated spat because I was telling her that her falling asleep was rude and that regardless of the fact that she was nice to me earlier, I was a little bit hurt. She got very defensive and started saying things like "don't be trying to pin this on me...you left me asleep on the couch". Guys, am I wrong for feeling a little bothered that she fell asleep immediately before a planned LM session?

Anyway, I told her that once she fell asleep, I was disappointed and I figured it would be best for me to calm myself down alone and she tried to turn that into "my choice to skip the LM session". I got the impression that she still wanted to have the LM session because she kept saying stuff like "so this is your choice?" I got to tell her that I really didn't have much desire because of what she did and told her my metaphor about talking on a cellphone during a date. I told her that she probably would have walked out too. She really showed me tonight how deep her avoidance of responsibility is and it was fine because she saw it for herself.

The only thing I blamed myself for was not paying attention to the signs that she was in the mood which only existed in her mind I guess. Note that she wasn't doing anything different tonight than any other non-LM night...ie. there were no signs.

Trust me folks, from the very beginning, she knew I had called her on her BS and she will have some material to work through (introspect on) in the next couple of days. I didn't think I needed to go any further. Anyway, I simply told her that I needed time to work through the situation and my disappointment regardless of the "rationality" of it.

Anyway, I turned away from her and said "good night" and let her leave my office and close the door in a somewhat cold way.

Ok Schnarchian's, pay close attention to what ensues because I can't make sense of either of our behaviors....

W comes back into the office and says, "I'm not going to let you go the rest of the night feeling like that". She comes up, straddles me and plants a big kiss on me. I of course, melt and laugh. My "pissy" mood is instantly gone. I tell her "thanks and that i love her". She gives me one more big kiss and twists one of my nipples in a playful way to non-verbally say to me "you are such a pain in the ass".

So I sat there, calmed myself down even further and wrote the last post. The reality of the situation set in and stopped writing and went into the bedroom where she was still very much awake. I got in bed and started kissing her and she was very into it. There was just enough lingering tension to make it enjoyable in a different way. She started talking about something (I can't remember) and I told her "I don't want to talk...I just want to take your close off and ML to you". Note that I've recently discovered that she likes a little "assertiveness". She pulled her top off and let me put my hand down yonder (which is rare that early in a session) and I proceeded to play with her for about 30 secs. She got very aroused and said..."come on, let's do it". No need to go into details except that about 20 minutes in, I accidently bumped her lip with my head which sort of knocked her out of the running for an O and made me a little less aroused. So we just laid there in the "spooning union" position for a while. It was pretty good. We cuddled until she fell asleep. I couldn't sleep so I got back up to take a bath and read for a while.

So needless to say, this was a weird night with lots of PM stuff going on. Welcome any feedback and opinions on what I did wrong. I'm sure I could have pushed her further into a crucible but it sort of felt like she had a "dose" of it...enough to make an impression on herself. She knew I didn't buy her BS but I also let her off the hook pretty easily. This might be my one big character flaw. Who knows? Good night.