We crossed the "due" date of a my "frequency" tonight. W was completely exhausted from waking up at 3am and not being able to fall back asleep. Then she ran a big neighborhood event tonight. It would have been downright mean to ask to ML tonight. I snuggled with her on the sofa and for a while in bed while she drowsed off (in both places). I'm honestly not in the mood to ML right now. I still think I'm a little bit LD but that label doesn't really apply until she has more desire than me.
I know I shouldn't be paying this kind of attention to her but I just can't help but notice.... Something weird is going through her head. The past couple of days, she has been acting "different" in a very subtle way. Last night she read quite a bit of PM and woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. Tonight, I asked her what she was thinking about and she didn't answer me so I took that as a clue to drop the subject...her thoughts belong to her. She was awfully loving and sweet to me all day and night so I guess it's nothing bad. It might not even be something about me or the R (but I suspect it is). At any case, I really don't care what it is she's thinking but I can't help secretly fantasize that PM is making an impact and she is working on some of her issues. I would love to think that she examining ways to differentiate. I remember when I first started the Diff procedure, I acted a little distant and even somewhat like an (gentle) a-hole. I've noticed a little bit of "coolness" to her and have expected this along with some behavior similar to mine. Once again folks, I'm just fantasizing here that my W is going to experience a "Corri-grade insight" and become a sex superfan. Let's also pretend that she's sick of this repair process and is thinking about her life as a single divorcee. Who knows. It could be anything. She keeps claiming that she's a "simple girl with simple needs and that we don't need all this analysis and insights, but I would disagree with her on the grounds that she's "simple". She's got a little sadism, control and trust issues etc. But I'm not allowed to think about that. It's cool if she does.
Sorry...I'm drowsing off as I type.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
