Hey Dave, Here's a question for you. When you say that you want her to initiate, what would a good initiation be for you? Are you wanting a physical initiation where she touches you or kisses you passionately? Or are you wanting her to say the words, although in a more sexy way than "are you wanting bedtime tonight?" (yuck!)
I am curious cause H always says, Just grab it. This has never appealed to me and I don't know why! Probably cause he is so flinch-y and weird about being touched that I would inevitably pick the wrong time. We even discussed that last night. I told him that my timing stinks and that I have a very hard time reading when he is needing affection or would be open to a little sexiness. (note: I think I read him pretty good and there really AREN'T that many times when he wants this, but I was trying to keep everything on me)
I was thinking that I could start whispering sexy things in his ear of what we could do later...a delayed invite of sorts. That way, the kids could be present without anything inappropriate happening (except Dad's ensuing hardon, LOL) and he would have time to mentally prepare for bedtime. Also it might give him some incentive to stay awake!!
Oh and I wasn't referring to your candle night. I had forgotten about that, actually. Did she light it as a way of initiating or did she light it after things were already underway? I was trying to think of ways that she could do it that make HER comfortable. I saw the cutest pillowcase online the other day..one side said, Desire and the other said, Sleep. Or something like that. You flipped the pillow based on how you were feeling that night.
Plus, I think that the easier we make it on our partners (not to make it effortless but just easier) the better they will succeed. For instance, one of the things on H's Sexy List last night was that he likes giving me massages with oil. I retorted that he coulda fooled me since he NEVER does it. He said that the thought of having to get up out of bed, go get a dish and heat the oil up in the micro just sucked the fun out of it for him. He said that if I was willing to tolerate the cold oil, he would do it more often. I said that in the summertime, I'd be glad to do the cold oil but that in wintertime it has to be heated; it is already hard enough for me to lay there naked in the freezing air. I suggested that I go heat it up and he didn't want to do that. Anyway, my point is that the simpler I make the process, the more successful it will be. I believe that it will be the same with your W.
