Dave, I can guarantee you that her lameo initiations have nothing to do with desire, but like you said, have more to do with not wanting to put herself out there.
For some people initiating is nearly impossible. It is difficult for me, but not impossible. My sister in law, for example, has flat out said that she will NEVER initiate and that she could not stand the thought of being rejected, etc, so her husband will have to "get used to it". He is constantly bugging her for sex so the thought that she would be rejected is ludicrous but this fear is so strong that she has talked herself out of ever initiating, for the rest of their married life.
I'm sure your wife is just scared to show that side of herself to you, for many reasons. Are you okay with her doing things like lighting a candle in the bedroom to signal that it's Love Night? Things like that seem much more 'safe' to a person who is scared to death of putting their neck on the line.
