You sound good, my friend! I feel for you as I look toward the future of doing a settlement...
I think you need to tell G and S to no longer feel the need to fill you in on where D is.
I like the e-mail you received, very nice of her!
And your A place sounds cute but a lot of work and hard to get to!
I hope I don't have to sell, pack up and leave. We would like to stay here, but as we all know sometimes we don't always get what we ask for... What is nice for me is the length of the M. I'm intitled to get more out of it when we split. And I filled under extreme mental cruelity. Which BTW is true, I'm sad to say. But I still would forgive and take him back, on the drop of the hat... But that may never happen!
Sorry things didn't turn out the way you were hoping. But there is a whole new world out there, and something wonderful may be in store for you!
Nope, just more realistic about what is feasible Have you come across the book by Victoria Moran - A Charmed Life? Its basically about having a more joyful and gracious life by really doing less. Slowly.
The settlement sure isn't any fun, but I know you'll do fine.
I thought that was a really nice e-mail. I think it is starting to sink in that I do have friends and I need to start reconnecting with them. I really lost touch with a lot of them during this marriage.
I didn't think to ask if they are low enough to have any trouble with flooding. But I think it helped convince me I don't want something I have to do that much work on. Even if it was really nice.
Yes, the length of your marriage should definitely help you, CHL's A made mention more than once that ours was a short term marriage.
Here this is a no fault divorce state so it wouldn't matter on the extreme mental cruelity.
Thank you for your thoughts Deb, you are also in mine. I don't post as much anymore but I still keep up and you sound pretty good.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
The trip felt like an adventure! Especially going in!!!!
I have not seen that book. But it sounds right up my alley at this time.
I have been back and forth on what I want in a house, but I believe I will try to stay close to town and my job for now. Maybe later I may want to move further out, but living on my own I'm not sure I want to be way out like I would have when CHL and I were together.
May try to drive through some neighborhoods today and look at some of the homes for sale.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Have lots of thoughts just all scrambled in my head. Hoping writing them out will help them be clearer.
CHL: I have a feeling he is more mixed up and emotional than I ever realized. If he figures himself out I now belive it isn't going to be quickly.
I would still like to be together but not until he has himself sort of lined out.
Based on the thought that he isn't going to figure out what he wants anytime soon. I believe I need to just move on, try to find a house for the kids and I and start enjoying our lives again.
Our Home: I don't believe I can get another loan as long as I am on this house mortgage. Am wondering about if I find a house I would like to make an offer on seeing if CHL will just buy me out of this house. Or even making that suggestion when he comes over to work on it and that I pay rent till I find a house to move into. Wondering if he will go for any of those ideas. I think that is the only way I can get another mortgage. Didn't think of that problem when we were at the settlement. But maybe something can be worked out, not sure.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I figured as long as JJ doesn't throw me out of piecing I know I benefit from the input I get here.
I think a little of G might be because he is hurt over what J did, but I think he is trying to help, in his way, me to get over CHL and move on with my life. But I actually think if I want to try to remain friends the less I know about he and J the better off I will be.
It actually no longer concerns me. I don't mean it doesn't still hurt like heck. But he isn't my h now and it needs to no longer concern me and that is what I am working towards.
I was thinking I really wish CHL would keep this house. But I realize that has to be his decision. But I think it would be lots easier on me for him to buy me out and me to be out of it before it goes up for sale.
It hurts living here knowing it is going to be sold. I do love the place and I put a lot of myself into it this past year after CHL moved out.
I think living here and working to get it ready to sell is only going to be a constant downer for me and my best bet is to find something else as quickly as possible. But not to rush into something that isn't what I want. Tall order! LOL
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Sort of dreading going back to work this morning. First day back since the court hearing.
Then we add PMS and it should just be a lovely week.
Hoping there aren't too many people off Friday and I am able to take a vacation day. That would give me several days to work on organizing my stuff here at the house.
Plus I asked my A if it would be alright if I wait till Friday to drive over and sign the settlement agreement and she said she thought that would be fine and if it isn't she will call me.
You never really know what your future holds do you?
I was thinking last night, no way could I have ever predicted all the moves and the marriage and divoce I have been through back when I first got married.
Life is full of quirks and turns.
So I guess I'm waiting to see where this turn takes me.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Have you come across the book by Victoria Moran - A Charmed Life? Its basically about having a more joyful and gracious life by really doing less. Slowly. 
Especially going in!!!!
