Had a sort of nice sort of sad evening with G and his friends last night. It was the usual 3 of them and then a couple that is also friends of theirs that I had never met. They were really nice, but she was feeling no pain by the end of the evening. Not drunk, just relaxed and leaning on her H's shoulder. Made me miss David.

Plus when G and S picked me up during the convo they let me know as they came in from S's house that David was at Janice's.

I really knew that was where he would be, but it still hurt to hear it.

He didn't come by today to pick up any stuff but I didn't really expect him too. He did go to work today and even signed on IM. Normally on his off Friday he NEVER signs on. I always found that odd as I figured if he signed on to talk with J she would be at work and looks like he would have signed on anyway. He signed off around 1:00 or so, but I don't think he usually works all day when it is off day. Sort of does an in and out and check on stuff.

I KNOW. Drop the rope.

I am just VERY emotional today. I think it is the letdown of being keyed up, the realization that it is finally really over and just sadness and regrets. Lots more changes coming in my life.

I am finding it painful to live here knowing it is going to sell.

I wish David would keep it.

I have thought about suggesting that to him when he does come over to work on clean up.

I mean I don't think he ever looked at keeping it because he wanted me to have it and all of his energy was spent on trying to figure ways for me to afford the house.

Then yesterday he was so angry and uncommunicative, that there wouldn't have been any talking to him during the meeting. He didn't know before that I wasn't going to try to keep the house. So he really never had a chance to consider if he might want it.

That is if he DOESN'T marry J. If he is going to do that she already has a house that is paid for, makes it nice.


Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"