Hi Nessie and Pam - Your support and confidence is so welcome
Hi Deb - This is just what I needed - a real life example of how to manage the two apparently contradicting notions of safety and mystery. You rock, Deb
Wednesday was an OK day. NG mentioned that he got an email from OW, and that he had responded. No difference in how he was with me. Attentive, demonstrative, lots of PT. Came home after lunch, we both worked the afternoon, relaxed a bit early evening before going out to dinner.
I'm so chilled out, I don't seem to be that agitated anymore. I hope this is not early onset of dementia
And oh yes, all this togetherness, is restricting the time I can post. Hence the recent brief spurts
Slowly, Sorry I haven't visited in a while. I find it hard to keep up with every ones thread and work on my self at the same time. There is so much info running through this BB I can't keep up. i will go back and read your thread soon.
Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and haven't forgotten about you. See you soon.
Pretty good start to day, easy morning at work, good chat with my boss about next year. I'm lucky I work for a great company and a great manager, lots of creative freedom
NG came over for lunch, then went to a project meeting. Friend had car problem, so mid-afternoon we took off on a rescue mission. Something different. Had light dinner, came home to catch up on emails.
Lately NG has been OK with me sitting next to him just reading my book while he does email, but body language last night was negative, so I stayed over on my couch. Later, I just went over for a cuddle and saw his LONG email to OW.
Just had to take off on my own, and have a weep. NG told me 6 weeks ago he was ending it, and there will be NO MORE CONTACT. Who is this weak man, who cannot keep his word? What has he done with my husband? Admittedly there were no endearments etc, but still, to take the time and effort to express anger an frustration at how she is running her life - that means the feelings are not being allowed to fade away.
Hi Randy - Thanks for stopping by I know just how much there usually is to catch up on this BB, and its all good, useful stuff too - time, time. Glad you are doing better. Slowly.
Hi Betsey - I'm trying to compartmentalize so I can enjoy the good moments, but I guess sometimes, like yesterday, the dark clouds just get too heavy
Just picked up a few books that have been bandied about here, Passionate Marriage is the read of the moment. I guess I've not yet exhausted my hunger for knowledge. Got to figure out how to improve further my implementation skills
I must admit, I have not read the last few pages of your thread...simply caught this last page. but I HAD to chime in. That book, "Passionate Marriages" was given to me by my therapist a year ago. It is amazing. I have really got to tell you that it is well worth reading because he examines the power dynamic between two people in a relationship.
I could go on and on about this book...but I'd rather let you get into it and then, perhaps, we can run some thoughts together on this. It is a VERY challenging approach to marriages, couples... and the concept of growth as being relational.
BTW, he had first titled the book, "Passionate Couples" but the nature of direct talk re: sexuality and power dynamics, etc, had the publishers twisting his arm. They said if you are going to be this blunt and direct about sex and if you want your book to go to paperback, then change the title to "marriages" or we won't go to print.
I think it is a very worthy read, and though I think there is a place for the one size fits all Mars Venus stuff... Passionate Marriages, has us taking on ourselves, IMO, with greater depth and complexity.
Anyway, I am very glad you have found it. Tell me what you think.
before going out to dinner. 
