I can't advise from experience of creating safe place, but my impression is that we meet our H's emotional needs and make sure we meet our own emotional and happiness needs. Don't fall back into the trap of man and marriage before self. Keep doing those things that made you happy and kept you sane at the lowest DB points.
You are doing great!
Vanessa
Current Thread Me: 39, H: 35 Kids: S14/D13/D11 1995-04 Married 2003-08 Bomb 2003-09 Separated