I have been off the bb for a few days...just read your saga. Whoa. Here are my quick thoughts:
a. I think you are doing the right thing by continuing to db.
Your h will definitely see you as the more attractive alternative.
b. NG is getting SOMEthing out of the contact with their drama. What does that drama provide to him?
c. Are you creating any mystery for him? Are you finding ways to have him question WHO you are and WHAT he might need to learn about you?
Seems to me, h gets something out of the whole hide and seek intrigue. I agree with Talitsa that H seems to be losing patience...asking if he is ready to change phone numbers may push him back towards that whole drama. What can you do when those calls come in? Is there a way to pull away in those times without making it seem as if you are hurt...but simply indicate that the situation with them is stale, old, boring and oddly predictable? It seems that the more attention you give this the more he will hold on to it. But if you can demonstrate that you are not threatened in any way, but that HIS involvement with them is keeping him from something MORE compelling...well, he may just drop the whole thing and get on board.
I am not sure I am clear enough about these questions. Will give it more thought and add to this later.
You ARE in a great position...we need to find a way to maximize the advantages and have him drop the R with OW and her H on his own.
