There was one point in time when I thought that there was no way possible for either you or Kelli to pull your M's back from the brink of disaster......but you both have and that really does give me hope.
No matter how bad things have gotten, I have never totally, 100%, given up hope. But it has been almost 3 years and it is getting harder and harder to pull myself back up when H has hurt me yet again.
I am starting a new venture.....doing for me and the kids and letting H alone as much as possible while at the same time still extending common courtesy.
That means no more sharing the day-to-day things that I talk to the kids about, not expecting H to share in any of our activities (he is welcome, but I have stopped going out of my way to include him), making the plans that I want to make without always considering if they ar OK with H, S15 and I now eat when I have supper ready but I no longer ask H if he will be there (if he is OK, if not, OK). I no longer ask H if he has laundry he wants me to do (but I have noticed that when I have my piles on the floor in the laundry room that H's clothes magically appear). I no longer feel that I have to watch the same tv shows as H just so we can be in the same room together, rather, I feel OK with going to another room to watch another show or sew or read or whatever.
I do feel myself hardening my heart for the pain I am sure is right around the corner. It has been 26 years since I have even looked at another man, but I sure wish I had someone waiting around the corner for me. I have never had a problem being happy with who I am but I do enjoy being a part of a couple and that entails.
