I like the way you think, probably because you have some of the same thoughts I have.
I have been going over and over in my head what the "feeling up" incident in the motel meant....and to tell you the truth I can't figure it out. H had to be able to tell by my responses that I was very receptive, yet, when I tried to feel him he moved my hand away. That, in itself, shocked me.
My initital response to H not sleeping in our bed was because he thought I was there and didn't want to sleep with me. But, after reading responses to my post, I DO wonder if H didn't sleep there because he felt I didn't want him to sleep with me.
Once I woke him up that morning to see if everything was OK, and told him I had been sleeping in a different bed, then he made the bed he was in and went into the master bedroom. Since then, H has been going to bed about the same time I do, I am often times in our bedroom getting stuff for the next day when H is getting into bed. Even last night, H was standing in the door in his underwear as I was coming out of the bathroom. I don't know if those are clues that he is ready to share a bed again.....but I just don't feel that I can be the one to take the lead on this.
You are absolutely right about being scared. If I wasn't I would have jumped his bones a long time ago. As a matter of fact, I almost did jump him the morning before he told me he wanted a D. I even told him that as I was crying that night, but I was to emotional to have a clue what response he gave.
