Yesterday afternoon I spent a very uncomfortable couple of hours with H filling out a financial statement. Supposedly it is for the bank. We had to fill one out 2 years ago when H was starting his business. But, H has paid back all he had borrowed to start his business and has not had to borrow any money in a long time, so I do not understand why the bank would want one now.
The way H acted while we were gathering the info and filling it out was almost like were were dividing our marital assets. The form would ask for our IRA totals or cash value on our life insurance or retirment accounts; I would list the numbers off to H and then add everything together since only totals were asked for. H would then make notations on the side of exactly how much each of us had. (At one point I pointed to what H was doing and said that that made me uncomfortable, and H just shrugged his shoulders).
A little later I told him that I did not want bimbo secretary to see any of the numbers we were putting down. H assurred me that she would not but told me that she does have access to all the business financial records. To which I replied that I did not. H then said I could look at them anytime. H then went into work for a few hours and came home late and put a copy of the business balance sheet on the island, but made no comment to me about it. I noticed this morning that H had put it will my mail so I would be sure to see it.
I haven't commented to H about it yet, but the business balance sheet does have me concerned. Supposedly, H's business is a sole proprietorship. On the balance sheet it shows the capital account many thousands in the red, but also shows a retained earnings account (which I thought was only for incorporated businesses). It is absolutely terrible that I trust H so little.
Other than that, things went fine until H, S14 and I went out for breakfast after church. Because of a State swim meet, S14 will miss the bus for a church camp on Sunday, so we have to take him to camp which is about 4 hours away. For the last month or so I have been talking about "we" taking son out and that I was looking forward to seeing where son has gone to camp for the last few years. At breakfast H said that he had arranged a business meeting for the following Monday. I said that was no problem for me because I have relatives there that I would love to spend the day with and H could drop me off there and pick me up when he was done and it would only be about 10 minutes out of his way. H then had a "deer in the headlights" look and stammered something back along the lines of "I plan on going alone". I was so shocked I was speechless.
There was nothing but guilt written all over H's face. I let it drop, but before he leaves I will ask him directly if he is meeting with a woman. My line is firm and I will no way, no how tolerate another affair, whether emotional or physical.
After breakfast we went home and spent most of the day putzing around the house, but comfortable with one another. Then all of a sudden, H come hurrying to the basement where I was cleaning and said he "had" to go back to the office. I said OK, and did not ask what could possibly be going on at the office that he had hurry there on a Sunday night.
This summer I have been doing many of the things that I gave up for 2 years because I was so busy just trying to please H and be available for him. I have come to realize that I am very much OK alone and I have so much to keep me pleasantly busy.
I am just finishing up a quilt for S14 to take to his swim meets. S14 had been using one I had made when I was in junior high, but it is falling apart. So, S14 and I picked out material last week and I got busy and almost have it done. Since the quilt will spend a great deal of time on the grass/cement at meets, I made a simple one of 5" blocks that we tied. I did the sewing but S14 did the tying. It was a wonderful project for us and good quality time with son.
I am also working on a double wedding ring quilt for D23 and anther sample quilt for son's bed. I also got the store room cleaned out and hope to start on refinishing a chair and building a shelving unit to hold all my thread. So much to do and so little time since school starts in less than a month.
