I really am not understanding the whole celibacy issue. for 2 years after the bomb we still had regular sex, but for the last 4 months there has been nothing. My thinking though is that H knows "touch" is my LL, and by not touching me in any way he is then not giving me any hope. So, in one aspect it seems like a cotrol issue.
I honestly thought that I would get some reaction out of H with the celibacy comment, but that was on Thurs. and he and S14 left Sunday for a week long canoe trip, and there was nothing from H. Although I must admit that H seemed less tense than normal.
H, S14 and I went shopping Fri. night for more canoe stuff H had a special discount for a 2 days. I had told H that there was a pair of shorts that I wanted there and found them first thing. After looking for a couple of hours for H's stuff, we went to check out, and I thought it was very thoughtful that H asked to make sure I still had the shorts I wanted.
On Sunday, H went to the office and got home just in time to jump in the pickup to head for the canoe trip. H did have to run in the house to grab a couple of things and was just like the H I used to know; very excited but yet still wanting to make sure things were OK for me for the week.
On his way downstairs, he stopped on the landing and looked up at me with a quizzical look on his face. He commented that I had mentioned going away for a couple of weeks while he was gone. It took me a moment to figure out what he was talking about. (It finally dawned on me that I had told son a couple of months ago that I might be gone for a week or so....but I had never mentioned it to H.) I told H I had cancelled my plans a couple of days ago and left it at that. When we got downstairs I told H that I had kind of planned on taking a class for a couple of weeks but didn't feel that I had the time now. H sure looked relieved at that explanation!
I just have this gut feeling that H is on the verge of making a commitment. And when he does, he will be firm with that commitment and go full throttle in carrying it out. Now, if I just had a clue as to whether that will be a commitment to the M or to a D, I would be in much better shape.
