I just want to say that maybe your H lacks the skills of understanding your needs. His whole life revolved in military. He used to give orders. No need to understand a female's perspective.
I was insensitive to my W's needs before the bomb. I have learned a lot. We male are not born to be skilled about female's needs. Maybe you need to educate your H and communicate to him your needs in more direct manner. I know he has the will to do it. Just my 2 cents.
