Your H is kinder to you, so it is difficult to make decision to say you have enough. The same as my W.
If your H does things after you let him know what you want, I would suggest that you praise him for doing that. It will reinforce a positive attitute in him to do it again more often.
My W and I have a separate account now since she planned to move out last Aug (2003). I still pay 3/4 of our household bills. She only pay when she goes to supermarket or to fill up her car. We don't argue about our finances anymore.
It is good that both of you still have join account. I know my W still looking at my account through internet. She kept her account secret from me. Maybe she is concerned that I found out her spending for the om.
I just found a new tenant for the rental property. Wasting one month rent as my W canceled her plan to move in. She said she did not know what she wanted. A costly mistake. But I prefer to keep quiet. It is just money and not worth arguing.
I think my W is still emotionally attached to the om. That's why she is still in limbo land. I am not sure about your H. According to Dr Glass, the involved partner is in limbo land because he/she is afraid of making a wrong decision. It is frightening to think that what you decide now can set the course for the rest of your life. He/she can't bear the thought of living without one person (spouse) or another (affairs partner). To lose either of them is excruciating, like having to choose which of your children you love most.
May God helps our spouse to make a right decision.
