I didn't mean to make your heart drop but if it did you should pay attention to it. Sometimes suspisions are just that but other times they are warrented. H sounds like a very conflicted man..that may be due to his own guilt and confussion of his past indiscretions or it could be guilt over continued discretion even if only in his thoughts. Either way there is still something keeping him from you and it doesn't sound much like it's you.
