Lostlove, My heart just dropped when you said that it sounded like H is still involved with OW. I honestly don't think so, but then I was suckered to before.
Kelli, I have been thinking of you also and hoping that life is treating you well.
Raindeer, Prayers are always sent your way. We have both been in this for a long time.
This just might be a little easier if H would continue to be a jerk, but no, the good guy pops his head out once in awhile. Maybe that is why I continue to have faith.
Since school is over for the year, I was clearing out my classroom and needed a place for all the plants I had there. I called H to see if I could take them to his office since my house is overrun with plants already. Besides, he already has a few of my plants at work. H was nice on the phone and told me "sure". So I dropped them off after work and H even helped me hang the hanging ones up and took great care to make sure none of the vines were hurt.
Then, we had to go pick up a car he was having worked on, and asked if I wouldn't take him.....we had a nice, normal conversation there, complete with a twinkle in H's eyes as he was telling me a story.
But, I am noticing a pattern more and more. Whenever I seem to let H know that something in particular is bothering me, then it seems that he honestly does try to change things so I feel better. But he just can't quite get over the hump of committing.
The other night H was upset over the checkbook (we have one checking account which we both write checks on, but I keep the check register). My paycheck goes directly into the account, and H just gives me money when I ask for it. Well, I had balanced the checkbook the other night and needed money. H got really mad because I needed money to pay bills. I told him he could look over the register any time, and he just kind of let things go. So, last night I asked H to look over the register, and he did...with a fine tooth comb. He even questioned me on a couple of items, which were legitimate bills. Anyhow, when he was done questioning me, I calmly let him know that, to me, his questioning the money situation was a form of not trusting me since I have been in charge of the checkbook and bills for over 25 years now. I also told him that since he felt the need to look over the family checkbook with a fine tooth comb, that I felt I was entitled to look over his business checking accout. H was kind of taken back by that. I reassurred H that I didn't want to look at his business account, but I felt I had a right to do so. (I don't that H realizes that both our names are on the business account and I can ask the bank for the records anytime, but have no desire to do so).
I do think H realized that the whole issue over the checking account was blown out of proportion and maybe understands why I felt a lack of trust on his part towards me when he questioned where the money had gone. It could also be guilt on his part since I know that he has several hundred dollars hidden away that he hasn't told me about.
