I really do not have a clue as to why H is still on the fence. All along I have thought that he must still be having contact with OW, but I asked him the other night when the last time he had had any form of communication with her, and he said it had been well over a year. When we were in C together a year ago the C told us that our R could not heal if another person was involved. So, if it is not an OW, I don't have a clue. Other than H said one time that he was scared to start over, but would not elaborate.
H's LL is "acts of service", and I make sure that love bank is filled, and also thank or otherwise acknowledge acts that H does for me.
As far as any physical interaction between us, there is NONE. It is so bad that even sitting in church together, if my arm even slightly brushes against H's, he jerks away. (A long way from a couple that would always hold hands during the sermon.) Even is bed, if I slightly touch H he will jerk away, or if he feels I am getting to close he will sleep elsewhere. So, I just figure that any physical touch from me is not a thing to be trying now.
The situation does not seem good to me right now. There have been to many little things lately that indicate H is ready to bail. For instance, H and I always serve as greeters and ushers in church a few times during the summer, but when the sign-up sheet came around this morning H just passed it on. Then, D18 is headed to Notre Dame this fall and it was suggested to her to get motel reservations for a Newcomer orientation, but H wanted nothing to do with committing to going. It seems to me like H is unwilling to make any commitments beyond a few days out. It is a scarey time.
