I have been in Newcomers for about a year and a half and decided it was time to move to a place where there is more hope than panic.
Married 25 years 4 kids (14 - 23) Heard the bomb over 2 years ago (27 months ago to be precise, but who is counting?? ) Found out about an ongoing 2 1/2 year A, 17 months ago (supposedly has stopped). Asked for D last July, had papers drawn up, but H has not had them served yet.
H still lives in the house, and we are on fairly friendly terms. H continues to do many kind, considerate things for me, but yet continues to sit on the fence. The last R talk we had was last Sept. which I initiated. At that time I told H that we needed to talk some more but I would wait until he was ready to initiate.
Well, 8 months is a long time, and my patience failed me tonight, and I told H that we needed to talk soon. It was a short conversation but I said that I had promised the kids several months ago that the issues I was having would be resolved by D18's graduation (which was last week). The kids do not know what is going on between H and I, but they do know something is bothering me big time.
Anyhow, I went on to say that I did not want the kids to think that the way we are living now is the way a M should be. They are old enough to remember the way H and I used to be, and that was very happy and in love.
Anyhow, we really couldn't talk this afternoon so I told H that we really needed to talk and either move forward or end it. I also said I would once again wait until he was ready to give me some answers.
The kids do not know of H's A and he is scared to death of their reaction when they find out...which will only happen if H files for D. It has been incredibly hard not discussing my M with friends or family and especially keeping so much stuff from the kids. I guess, deep in my heart, I had hope for our M and didn't want H to suffer the fall-out of others knowing.
However, H's facial and body reaction this afternoon when I told him he needed to make a decision was not at all encouraging. Oh well, back to DBing and getting that PMA up and going.
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