I think this is one change that's made a HUGE difference to H - me dropping the rope on constantly making decisions on everything. Now I think H even resented my decorating the house without consulting him - didn't seem to be interested at the time. But all of sudden last year he made a comment to leave the garage alone, that he 'let' me do whatever I want in the whole house and the garage was his? WTF? So when he was 'renovating' his apt, I was very careful not to ask questions, offer help, or venture any opinions unless explicitly asked. It became painfully obvious that the man who showed absolutely no interest in picking anything for our home was having a ball picking appliances, carpet, blinds, etc. for his 'new' home. I comforted myself by believing it was mostly the feeling of control that was making him so happy. I have come to realize how controlling I really am, if left unchecked.
I still remember when I picked out china when we married 14 yrs ago - he didn't have any opinion (or interest) until I took him to the store and asked which of two patterns he preferred. All of a sudden he had a very definite opinion. So why did I forget that lesson? Don't know. Maybe he got tired of me not asking for his opinion all these years.
I'm trying to look at the potential bedroom setup next week in a humorous light. I mean, is my M going to stand or fall based on the sleeping arrangements at the lake, over which H probably has limited control given number of other guests. I'm almost looking forward to observing H's whole 'clan' in action. I'm not sure SIL and I will be able to keep a straight face when they start taking the 'Family'-only photos, when all of us 'outlaws' are supposed to leave the picture. Maybe I should then announce I want a picture of all the 'only related by marriage but not really Family' attendees. But, that would be rude don't you think ?
Can you imagine? SIL has been married to BIL for over 30 yrs, but she has to put up with (as do I and other SIL's) being asked to get out of a picture for a Family-only photo. I'm starting to look forward to it for the laugh factor. Yes, I know I'm a smart-a$$ b*tch .
H just called - he got out of tech-training school already for the week - what a lucky dog. He gets to start his vacation right now and I'm not leaving until Fri. He's at his brother's for dinner tonight - sounds pretty upbeat. Apologized for not calling last night because he fell asleep. I knew that's what had happened so I didn't stress.
H said BIL is going to Hawaii in Sept, on business I presume. He laughed when I said my H wouldn't be going to Hawaii without me while there was breath in my body .
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