I had to look at myself after the bomb and realize how negatively I generally reacted to most of H's suggestions. It was some kind of knee jerk reaction that stems from fear of something, who knows what. I imagine it was a real downer for him, given that most of the time he was probably just thinking out loud.
I feel the same way as your MC advises about the money/toys now. If it costs $900 for an unused sofa bed, or thousands for a 'Lance Armstrong' bicycle, or sports car, - my marriage is worth the cost. I know this is easier for me to say because we do not have children who need college funds, etc. But I came from a family that didn't spend money on luxuries, even though we could, so I had to lighten up a little. H is not an outrageous spender in general, so I don't have much to complain about.
It's sad how this type of crisis seems to destroy your feeling of security. The other night H was quiet and seemed preoccupied and immediately I started to worry. I really had to force myself not to react and constantly remind myself not to make assumptions. He was in a pretty good mood, but just quiet. I kept telling myself that he was tired or thinking about work, but all I could think about was maybe he's changed his mind and still wants to leave. It seems to have been nothing, probably work-related, but it just shows how fragile we (LBS's) are.
Last night was better - we did some serious laughing as we were watching 'American Chopper'.
