Thanks you guys. I am putting together my list of what worked for me, and I'll post it as soon as I can.
I can tell you that the one thing that worked the best is also the hardest. I gave H space, space, space, and more space. I didn't ask him to do anything, didn't ask him for anything, and didn't ever ask him his plans (other than just making conversation like "do you have any big bike trips you want to go on?" And I made the transformation from sulker to being perfectly happy with whatever he was doing. I believe that this lead him to spend more time with me because there was absolutely NO pressure to talk about R or explain himself.
