I think that a list is wonderful reminder of things you know make a postive difference in your R with H. It would be a good reference to have as you continue repairing your M.
You do sound very optimistic and that is music to my ears. And, even with the lact of intimacy, you know there is a reason for that, and not just something that has all of a sudden developed.
As for me, when I NEED a good nights sleep, or I have tossed and turned for hours, I grab my pillow and hit one of the other bedrooms or couchs. H never says a word, but when I take my pillow back to our bed, H always has the bed if the kids would glance in they would not notice that my pillow is missing.
You sound wonderful!!