Thanks for the visit - your Dad sounds like a smart man. I am feeling very lucky lately. I'm amazed how well things are going (except for the intimacy thing). I would never have believed a few months ago that this is where we would be now. I'm not sure we have been this good with each other since the first few years of marriage. So because this is unbelievable, I'm starting to believe that it's possible the last connection might eventually happen. But, since H is LD, I think this may go on for a long time.
Just goes to show that we're never satisfied - now I'm worried about how I look (for possible intimate moments). I think I've gained back just about all of the weight I had lost and even though I wouldn't say I'm fat, I'm looking pretty flabby around the middle again. Feeling especially self conscious now that H is so into biking and looking so trim. Oh well.
I've been thinking about some of the things that I've changed that have helped bring about these positives, and I think one of the biggest is that I've finally stopped 'keeping score'. Sometimes consciously, sometimes not, but I seemed to be always angry because I felt I was doing more than I was getting. That's just an absolute NO-WIN way of looking at things, fair or not. I just had to let it go, completely. Every once in a while I start to slip back and get annoyed at something, and I find it's usually related to this type of thinking.
I'm no expert, and I know my situation wasn't as terrible as many but I was thinking about putting together a list of things that worked especially well for me, if only to remind myself to keep doing them. Of course most of them I learned on this bb and from the books, but it doesn't hurt to put it out there again. What do you think?
Wishing, I hesitate to suggest this and I wonder what the general advice is, but what if you started sleeping in another room, at least every once in while? Maybe do it sometimes just so you have a nice restful sleep and some time to yourself. I do know how you feel, I found out after the bomb that my H had been leaving our bed for months and sleeping on the couch downstairs. I was devastated when I realized that he couldn't even bear to be in the same bed with me when I was asleep! It was also further proof that all those times when he got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and turned the lights on and made lots of noise and woke me up, were just more of his passive-aggressive BS. Clearly despite his many protests to the contrary, he was capable of being VERY quiet when it suited him.
Men - you would think I would be smarter about them. I have only brothers, I have always been in totally male-dominated school and work environments, and I'm old enough to have learned something. But, I'm not any better at figuring it out than anyone else.
In4Ride (Jeez, I got to start making these posts shorter!)
