I'm trying not to get too excited but last night a bunch of positives came out of the blue.
H got home from bike ride a few min after I got home from work and I asked if he wanted to go eat at sandwich place, I had to fill up car, etc. He agreed and while we were talking I said I really should wash Mini for my road trip so friends see it looking good, and he said yes you should and then he said HE would wash it! (Right after he said it he realized that he couldn't because he has to work late tonight but who cares - he hasn't offered to wash my car in YEARS.
Stopped to get gas and H jumped out to pump - not something I've seen in a couple of years either. He usually just sat there and let me do it.
We stopped at bike shop first to drop off wheel for repair and I was going to wait in the car, but he came around driver's side and said I could come in with him, as if he wanted me to.
On the way back to car, I suggested maybe we could eat at the Japanese restaurant next to the bike shop instead, thinking for sure he would say no (it's one of those places with the seating around the chef who puts on a show) - he used to sort of complain about going there. At first he said no because he was going to an AA meeting later, but after a few more steps he stopped and said yes why don't we go there. We got seated right away and he spent the whole meal chatting away like he was trying to keep the conversation rolling. Strangely enough I didn't have as much to say - I think I was in shock by then.
In fact I was so stunned that I'm afraid I didn't respond to all of this as enthusiastically as I could have. But that's not something I'm going to stress about.
I know none of these things seem like a big deal, but after so many years of H being so totally detached, the whole feeling was quite different - it felt pretty close to how it was when we were dating and first married .
There's even a slight chance he may go with me this weekend. I asked if it was possible that they might finish work tonight and not have to work Sat, since this is what happened last weekend. When he said he didn't know, I just said, well I'm not leaving until Sat morn anyway so....
So I'm keeping a lid on my expectations but I can't deny that my PMA is way up today. And I made sure I looked good this morning before I left for work because if he works late tonight and has to work tomorrow, it might be his last view of me before I leave for the weekend.
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