You're right - I really need to get away this weekend. I'm wavering but I'm going to make myself go. I think the timing is right for him to be a little lonely and missing me at home.
There are a lot of positives - this is something that I've really learned from journaling - how much of it you realize you missed until you really sit down and look at things in a reflective manner. I was never too successful at journaling previously but now I've learned so much about myself and H by doing it, it's hard to believe how much.
H's idea of volunteering really blew me away because he's just not that type of person, and this is so completely different from replay type of behavior. That one thing alone gives me great hope.
I was talking to my best friend last night who I've known since college, so she knows our entire history (she was there when we got engaged, was my matron of honor, etc. etc., and that's where I ran to last New Year's to lick my wounds.) I was trying to explain to her once again what it's really like - she keeps asking me how long I'm going to do this. But, as long as I see consistent (even though slow and small) improvements, it's not as difficult as it may seem. It can be discouraging, but there are many people on this bb who db under much more difficult circumstances.
It's really hot here also, and incredibly humid, with more thunderstorms on the way. A day or two at the shore sounds like just the ticket.
