Just listening to all those interactions makes me glad I don't have IL issues to deal with. I know you've said before that your H considered your IL the "cats meow" but that's a bit much.
I'm with you I would have thought he wouldn't want his parents to know what was going on in his "personal" life. I know my H is like that ... he doesn't tell any one any thing. So, that had to be really hard to hear and deal with.
You know when they change so rapidly and act so differently from what they use to be like - it just isn't normal. I think that's why we keep "hanging in there". It wasn't that long ago they were great guys. It's like "prince charming" went backwards. If I thought he was going to remain "this way" forever I would just pack it up now and call it a day. However, every so often I see a little glimpse of my "real" H to keep me dangling a little longer.
