Nevanna, that helped a lot. I do think that acting normal (both of us) has led him to feel more normal. My 'delusions' actually help me to act as if our marriage is going to work out and help me be optomistic. Sometimes, I really think I must be crazy to be so calm (but the meds help). Acting as if this will work out has also helped me to be very calm when good things happen too. I did exactly what you suggested when he told me friend could use the apt. I acted as if it was no big deal, and so right for him to charge a much lower rent because he was such a good friend to us. Inside I was doing cartwheels .
I thought that I was the last person on Earth that could do this for even a week, and I think H has also been impressed by how I've handled it. Most of it I owe to what I have learned on this bb. You never know what strength you can find until you dig deep enough. I have really bad times still, but I have learned that even a negative b**** like myself can change.
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