Rottzilla, you're absolutely right. I have often written things that I would never really give to him. I even was close to being a WAW before this - of course I thought the problem was all him. What a shock to realize he thought it was me!!
I am bothered by something I don't think is a good sign. When this first happened, one time I guess he thought I was asking about dating and he said he thought it was premature to talk about seeing other people. (Well, nice to know, but it wasn't what I was asking at all!) Then, 3 mos after that I see he is very interested in dating. This concerns me greatly (and sort of irks me because he's been so LD throughout our M). I know I have no control over what he does, but I keep thinking it's only a matter of time before he meets someone if he's looking for it. From his letters, it's as if he's looking for a way to be single again for a while, have it be OK to see other people, but maybe keep me in reserve. I guess he's thinking he could see other women but not really be cheating. Oh yes, one of his pros on his apt list was "Beautiful W", women I presume. It's so disheartening to be ready and willing, and all he's thinking about is potential OWs.
OK, I'll stop dwelling now. He has been more connected lately. He did call me last night from his trip, when he just left yesterday morning. Sounded upbeat and happy to talk to me. I'm going to proceed on the assumption that he's still here because he wants to be, because he certainly had a clear field to leave anytime in the past 4 months. I will continue to concentrate on my own changes and being glad I have the opportunity to db for at least 3-4 more months. It's a gift.
