Quote: When this all came down, he said I was his best friend. I just keep focusing on not pushing anything because that seems to work.
This is great! It's a good place to start building your R back up from. Keep this in mind, even when you are the most frustrated, and it will help.
Quote: The separate bedrooms is really bothering me, but I don’t see him making any moves anytime soon.
Try to not let it. Actually, take advantage of it. Have you tried wearing any nice lingerie to bed? That would throw him for a loop, since you aren't even sleeping in the same bed. You could also redo the room to suit your own needs--rearrange all the furniture, paint the walls, etc. Make it your own little space. Maybe put something in there that you've always wanted to, but your H objected to.
Quote: However, in about one month my IL’s will be visiting and then he will have to move back in our room. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what he does when they leave. Any suggestions from anyone how to handle this part?
Act as if it's all perfectly normal and reasonable. Don't make a big deal out of it at all, it will put your H on edge. And then just let him do what he is comfortable with.
Quote: However, in about one month my IL’s will be visiting and then he will have to move back in our room. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what he does when they leave. Any suggestions from anyone how to handle this part?
Maybe he's not ready to face it yet. It doesn't matter. My H was the same way. I just respected his wishes, and left it at that. Be supportive of him, and he will appreciate it.
Quote: In fact, last Thanksgiving went so well that I thought we had turned a real corner in our relationship, but when I asked about it, he said he just likes to put on a good front when his family is around.
Don't ask if you don't want to know the answer. As a matter of fact, don't question why he does something you find as progress, because that will make him defensive again.
So what if he was only acting? Sometimes we have to go through the motions before the feelings will follow. My H did this, also--his two brothers just arrived from Kuwait last month, and he suddenly acted like "normal" around them with me. You know what? The more he did it, the more he actually felt it, and realized what he was missing.
Hope this helps! You are actually in a pretty good position.
It's a good place to start building your R back up from. Keep this in mind, even when you are the most frustrated, and it will help. 
You could also redo the room to suit your own needs--rearrange all the furniture, paint the walls, etc. Make it your own little space. Maybe put something in there that you've always wanted to, but your H objected to. 