I found out there is at least an EA going on, possibly a PA. He has at least admitted to an EA, but denies a PA. My trust is obliterated so I don't believe anything at this point. I don't even know what to do. Everything feels hopeless at this point.
I’m sorry JaeJae. I really am.
It’s not much consolation for you I guess, but know that you aren’t alone. Nearly everyone who comes to this site finds out about the affair eventually.
Prioritise self care - exercise, individual counselling, eating well, avoid drinking, start some mindfulness training, do some daily gratitude. Turn inwards. Focus 100% on you and build a wall around yourself and your heart. Don’t isolate. Lean heavily on family and a few trusted friends. And get outside and out of the house - yoga classes, cooking classes, mountain biking, hiking, live music. Force yourself to do those things, even though you won’t feel like it.
Affair discovery is pretty much the lowest point, it’s worse than bomb drop. So you’ve actually passed the worst bit now. Whether the affair fizzles and he comes crawling back, or he serves you with papers and you go separate ways - either way, what comes next gets easier. It will be painfully slow and hard, but rest assured you’ve passed the worst bit.
I remember when I found out about the affair. I could hardly breathe. But it was actually a turning point in my journey. The start of a new beginning.
