Thanks for your perspective, D. It gets difficult for me to step back and see the situation with an unbiased lens when I'm wanting so badly for things to be better so I appreciate an outside perspective.
Absolutely will try to make myself less available moving forward. I think the reason I really struggle with this is that sometimes it seems like "more of the same" from me. Before the BD I was very focused on my work and hobbies and did tend to ignore him when he was home. So I do wonder if being around could be a 180 on my part? But perhaps I'm overthinking that. Regardless, I can definitely do a better job at being less available in other ways (i.e. not contacting him ever - I have struggled with this a bit).
We have not talked since he came over to fix the house issue. I have not reached out, he has not reached out either. But the last two days I've really been hung up on the comment he made about having to have tough conversations soon. I didn't take the bait while he was here, but I've been down and upset thinking about what that means. My mind is telling me it's over. He's done, he does not see any way to mend this marriage. Which leads me to feel frantic, desperate, clingy. All the things we should not be while trying to DB. Of course I'm not allowing him to see any of that, but the no contact just further amplifies those feelings. Hopefully it's just a bad couple of days, and my positivity and glimmers of hope can make a resurgence in the coming days.
