So it seems to me my best course of action now is to just go dark. Until when? Until he decides he's ready to talk about the R?
I wish I could give you a timeline but their isn't one. And unfortunately as much as we hate the possibility - he may never be ready. We can't make someone ready to change. They will do it on their own timeline if at all.
It's okay if you go dark as an attempt to save your marriage before you see it as a way to save yourself. My .02 is to just make sure you have the proper support when doing this. There are lots of confusing stages. It's difficult to navigate on your own. The ways in which they try to hold onto us whilst avoiding the work in painful, infuriating, crazy-making. It can make you second guess your choices, your values, your self worth.
It is by no means a walk in park. So be gentle with yourself. Have compassion when you slip up (which will happen) and then try again tomorrow.
M(f): 43 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
