One of the Roughest Seasons of My Life

[Unbeatab]

So sorry that you have to join us here! The big thing to remember is to have patience with yourself. It takes time to master your emotions and the techniques that work for you. And those techniques will only work at certain times, when the wind is blowing just right! You may have days where the connection is strong, only to be followed up by being accused of gaslighting.... like DnJ firmly states, keep your expectations at 0. Enjoy those moments as they come, but expect nothing to come out of it. You seem to be on the ball with that!

As for going dark, you'll know when the time is right. Hopefully it doesn't get to that, but you will know.... you'll do it for your own sanity. Do not feel bad about it, it is part of self care. Just like he needs his time and space, there will be times when you need yours too.

To me, I liken the spiraling to riding a malfunctioning carousel, until one day you get thrown off.... and that's just the you part.... this carousel was in a car on your S' rollercoaster! You'll begin to see things clearer, and be able to stand on solid ground again. Like S' journey, it'll take as long as it takes.