WAW to MLC XH bookends (it's complicated!)

[Unbeatab]

So, update.... S (now 20!) had his birthday at the start of the week. The day before S17 received 3 texts from XH reminding us that it was S19's birthday the next day, and he sent money to make sure that we went out for dinner and got a cake. I texted that I appreciate that, and I sent him a picture of S20 eating his birthday meal, and then sent him a picture of the cake later. He then sent me a picture of the place where he was staying while working out of town for 3 days. He then joked about imagining living in a place where you get to wake up every day looking at a bay (I go every morning to the bay where I live to watch the sun rise).

I guess the no contact gave him some time to think.... yesterday he texted S17 to tell him he put money in so we could buy the stuff we need for Thanksgiving dinner. Again, texted my appreciation, and asked how his trip was. We then got into a conversation about his work... lengthy chunks on his side, short validating comments on my side. If he is still with OW, there really must not be anything between them other than sexual, because this is very much how his attempt at reconnection in June started. I'm at the point that I have no interest in knowing ewhether she's still in the picture or not. One of the comments he made was that someone had to go back to finish the job, and it would probably be him because the other guys have families at home.

For me for the last while, I've been cycling through anger, withdrawl, and depression in shorter bouts... and with being in contact again, I've finally gotten to acceptance. I think this is because I know he's OK. I don't wait around for him to contact me, but it's nice when he does. Nice in a hearing from someone you haven't talked to in a while kind of way, not emotional. For an emote like me, this is HUGE! His loneliness isn't affecting me anymore. I'm not freaking out when his name pops up on my phone. Leaving him to initiate contact, and not sharing anything about what we're up to here. I think I'm finally getting a hang on detaching!!!

I'm at peace again, and I'm focusing on the boys and I. S17 and I went on a 2 day road trip a week ago... the scenery was beautiful!

Very excited, because now that fall/winter hours have begun at work, we have 3 days off a week! We've created a sourdough starter named Audrey, and I'm going to be spending more time teaching the boys life and social skills. Way more time for cooking, walks, and gardening...and we are all going to learn how to bake and do home repairs.