…how likely is a narcissist to truly going to want to change if they've found a fresh supply?
Most people only change when the pain of not outweighs the pain of growth.
My experience is the vast majority of people do want change. They like being comfortable. Even positive change is balked at. Think software updates. Arggg. Not another one. I know and like how it works now. I don’t want to learn the new and improved stuff. (Of course, new and improved is questionable when considering software. At any rate, just illustrating.)
Change is more force upon than wanted. It is a rare person who looks to change and grow.
Originally Posted by Unneatab
How does this change the way you DB, if you decide to stand?
Originally Posted by Unbeatab
I was raised by a covert narcissist.. and married one.
DB in a nutshell. Your past relationship crashed and burned. If you both go back as is, things just repeat.
The LBS, usually being the more rational one, more willing one, does their inner work. Grows. Evolves. The spouse notices and becomes interested.
Originally Posted by Unbeatab
I have a lot of work to do on myself... so finding less and less time to worry about him.
Absolutely. Yes.
Once you heal and grow, you will not want nor accept a narcissist as a partner. You’ll place a rock solid boundary and let the chips fall where they will.
Then, it is up to H to step up and change. Or not.
You’re fine either way.
Originally Posted by Unbeatab
The extra challenge is standing while working on changing your own narcissistic traits you've picked up... are you more likely to flub DBing?
I think with willingness to look inward, see yourself, you’ll do fine. Most flubs come from emotional reactionary outbursts. You know that which you control. I believe you’ve got a good handle on yourself.
Coupled with the rose-coloured glasses being off. You are seeing clearer. Keep walking the path.
You can only do your part in all this. Like the lighthouse, you shine. Yet, a stubborn captain could still ignore and crash upon the rocks.
Do the best you can on that which you can, and give the rest to God.
Hope you’re having a wonderful Sunday.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
