Thing is its like being out at sea in rough weather. 1 day the waves are high and I struggle with the thoughts and emotions, the next day (or even few hours later) I'm feeling positive and believe we will be back together.
Think what makes it difficult is I know the neglect she's felt. I worked bloody hard for the right reasons, to provide for her and her 4 kids, but I get how much that she felt alone. My love was there, but not how she wanted it and what she was used to before I started business in 2020. So I wonder is this the main driver of our situation and her MLC, bipolar and menopause are secondary to that or is the MLC the driver and she's latched onto that as the reason for how unhappy she is.
The removing of the tattoos of my name 4 days after bomb drop and deleting all our wedding photos on that day also really was a punch to the stomach! I don't think that's rational behaviour to do that so quick so may be another MLC, bipolar sign or just she's 100% made her mind up she is moving on.
She's accused me of making her out to be the bad person in this when all I've done to everybody who has asked me what's happened is that it is all my fault. I take full responsibility for working to much and her feeling neglected. She's also accused me of messaging people who I would not even speak to if I passed them in the street.
My mother was messaging her (my mother has known my wife since she was born, and my wife would say my mother is more of a mum to her than her own mum) and they got round to talking about our marriage. My mother did say to her (I wished she hadn't) that I'm working on my issues and surely we should try other avenues before divorce. My wife replied that she 'never wanted any of this to happen'. So my mother said we could build a stronger and better marriage, but my wife replied to that 'we will never be getting back together' She has also told her neighbour, who I bumped into 1 day that 'there is no future for us 2'.
All seems very final. Then I get told weird things (I think its weird), is that her profile picture on Facebook and her Instagram is a photo I took of her on our 1st wedding anniversary 9 years ago! surely if you moving on and marriage over etc you would upload a new photo showing off how happy and great you are in your new life (maybe I'm seeing to much in that though).
I know the total silence from me is a good thing, giving her space to do her thing. So being blocked shouldn't bother me, but I think because she's blocked me she's not actually seeing that I'm giving her that space. Even before she blocked me though, I only messaged her if she messaged me so she didn't need to block me.
Its just so annoying that I think I've ended up with the 'perfect' storm. MLC, bipolar, menopause and she had a reason to be unhappy anyway. So I cant sit here and know 100% what's the real reason for this.
