Please stick to one thread. It keeps things clearer and easier for folks following along.
MLCers do tend to become narcissistic. They are so absorbed, consumed, by their pain and torment, by their running from it. They lack empathy. Their running is about them. Their emotions are cranked to eleven and they simply have no bandwidth for anything or anyone else.
Are they narcissists? Or more a symptom of the crisis they are lost within?
For those true narcissists, it’s another personality characteristic for them to work through on top of everything else.
Originally Posted by Unbeatab
Different coping/DBing with overt vs covert?
Not really. Your DBing, your coping will be the same.
MLC is highly covert. They suffer an internal struggle with their demons. The cause of which they do not even realize, never mind understand. Their progression is glacially slow and internal.
Their running behaviour usually becomes quite overt. There are two types here: wallower and the highly energetic ones. The wallowers are more sullen and will brood and more display that all-present consuming depression. The energetic type burns the candle at both ends. More continually showing how great and wonderful their life is.
It is a spectrum of course, just being how overtly and far one leans towards whichever end of the scale. Most MLCers settle into “their” pattern, remaining such for their journey.
The type of running behaviour is separate from their energy level. Spending, drinking, drugs, fast cars, fast partners, affairs, shoplifting, theft, illegal and illicit activities, and so on. Again, a spectrum. How far they “need” to go depends upon the person and their pains, past, coping skills, etc.
Originally Posted by Unbeatab
Or do you do the work to heal, and don't look back?
It is always best to do your inner work. Become the best you possible.
“and don’t look back?” The past is immutable. Unchangeable. Look forward. Like a car, the windshield is far bigger than the rear view mirror for a reason, for that’s the direction you’re going.
The future is full of possibilities. It’s where hope lives. Where healed and whole lives. Where happiness and joy awaits.
Live your present moment. Fully. That requires some looking back, and some looking/planning forward. Slowly you accept your past. Slowly you pull your desired future forward. Slowly your present changes. The joy and happiness, the whole and heal, becomes the now. Living and loving life.
You will look back at times. It’s ok. It’s your past and lots of good lessons/wisdom there. Just don’t get lost going down memory road.
You will look forward at times. It’s ok. That’s where you’re heading. Figure out your headings and work towards them.
Live the present moment. Be grounded in the here and now. The past is immutable, the future ain’t here yet, the present is all you got. Embrace it.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
