Stick to the path. Remain kind and cordial, roommate-like. Continue being dim, keeping answers short and succinct. H needs to feel the loss. Needs to feel his consequences for his actions. Like:
Originally Posted by PamCakes
It's been a wild weekend here. He must be furious about being kicked out of the bedroom.
People need to hit rock bottom before they will change. And rock bottom takes a lot of pain/time to get to.
Originally Posted by PamCakes
My MIL said that he did talk to a lawyer. So maybe it's a legal ploy to look good during court.
Yes, that is a possibility. These folks will use and twist the legal system to their advantage.
Originally Posted by PamCakes
I still have strong anger and feelings of betrayal, I'm not interested in initiating contact.
You need not initiate contact. And respond only to that which you need to.
Your feelings of anger and betrayal are perfectly normal. Anger is a stage of grief, and will last some time. Do know, the anger, hurt, pain, and such does subside. So, try not to do not act out of temporary emotions, look to a more rational thought out path.
Originally Posted by PamCakes
I don't know how I feel about this, because I was ready to pull the trigger and file for divorce. As much as I want to DB, I'm not sure what a path for regaining trust and reconciliation looks like.
Was it you felt ready? (Rundown, exhausted, etc.) Or did you have a rational logical reason to pull the trigger?
Detachment is an important part of your healing and ensuring you do not enact (emotional) decisions you cannot take back.
Focus on you and your life. Heal thyself. Live thy life. Love thy life.
Let H go. Give him to the man upstairs. Let Him work on H for a while. H needs to feel his loss.
You’ve got time. You own your house. No loans. Just keep an eye on the finances for any funny business.
Regaining trust, respect, and reconciling is possible. It’s hard work. It’s going to take long term consistent demonstrated behaviour from H. Your part is being open to it. However, H first has to decide to get through this mess he is currently within. And that is going to take time. Hence, you focusing on you.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
