Hugs to you G. For some time now, I've suspected that your pain and thoughts are pretty similar to mine. Sometimes even identical. Feeling blue myself today and came here for some comfort - saw that Valeska had commented on my thread and continue to 'accept'. Not sure accepting is what you want (I know that I don't), yet accepting is something to learn and understand.
It truly sxcks. No doubt. Certainly, we know that choices have consequences. What seems to hurt the most is when the consequences are felt by those who didn't make the choice.
Hang in there. Our kiddos will survive and thrive. Somehow, I believe they'll be better for it in the end. Time. Time will tell.
Thinking of you and wish I had words of encouraging. All I can tell you is that I understand.
Seems as though you and I (along with many others) are writing the LBS book. Wonder what phase or chapter we're on.....