Feeling hopeless

[stark648]

My WAW been back for a year, now. Our older daughters and my youngest at 15 have benefitted but they hate if we argue.
Our sex life has not been so great. Personally, that hits me emotionally very hard. She gives me sex just as a 'duty' or to do something nice for me.
She had screwed up and told me she gave the OP lots of sex because she was worried about him going out and fng someone else. I also had pestered her for the truth and she said "yes, it was exciting. And enjoyable but then felt really bad and realized it was such a horrific damage to myself and my family."
So, it's now hurting ME extra deeply all over again. She doesn't even TRY to enjoy our sex or get an orgasm. Makes me feel like sht. She promised to work so much harder on that and put more honest effort into it.
She had said that a year ago also and I pointed out and she admits she didn't follow through. Oh, also while we were separated, she got pregnant by the mf OP she was with. She had miscarriage fairly early and back then I had been very crying and sympathetic with her (still apart then)
Now, I just have this agonizing pain over and over and almost constantly about her having sex w someone else. AND GETTING IMPREGNATED BY HIS SORRY A$$. He was married as well.
It just hurts so much and I've been praying and praying but I don't feel relief and I feel like I can't stand the pain period and don't know if ever can get past it. We've been married 15 years. Back together now but shoot, 2 other times in the past she ran off too. I could really use some advice and ideas about the getting through this constant agony.