The journey continues for El…

[Elbereth]

Hello friends,

It’s been about two years since my last update. I’ve had some ups and downs since then but right now I am in a really good place.

Something downright wonderful happened recently. I attended a family wedding for a member of his family. It was the first time I’ve seen him in many years…over two for sure, if not longer. And certainly the first time I had been in his new wife’s presence. When they arrived to the venue (he and his AP now wife), I walked up to him and said hello. When I reached him she wasn’t next to him, so he and I spoke for a moment. Just friendly small talk. I felt nothing for him. In fact, he looked awful and it was almost like I was talking to a stranger or something. After some short small talk he walked away and I walked up to his wife who was facing away from me. I tapped her on her arm and when she turned around there was shock in her face when she realized it was me. I said hello, my name and then told her to enjoy the wedding. I also made her shake my hand which she did dumbfounded. I then walked away. Not with malice. Not passive aggressive. Just calm and with grace.

During the reception, I noticed them glance my way a couple of times. But honestly I just enjoyed myself and the family members I’ve missed so much. I stopped paying attention. Everyone showed me so much love and I felt wonderful. I looked beautiful (I’ve built back up my health and I’ve lost weight and I feel happier than I’ve been in a long time). At some point I thought they had left as I hadn’t noticed them as I made my rounds. But later they showed up so they were still there. Lurking somewhere off to the side. If they had been watching me, they saw grace, poise, love and detachment from them. And full acceptance and love from his family.

I am so proud of myself for getting to this point where I no longer want him or anything he offers back. I don’t feel hate and any drama would not accomplish anything, so I have not caused them any issues. And I don’t feel the need to experience that energy. I’d rather Karma do its thing and remain with more powerful and positive emotions for myself. I have gone on a few dates, but so far haven’t met anyone yet, but I am ready for that and looking forward. I was laid off this year, so finding a job is an higher priority than dating, but I’m open to meeting someone IRL, I just am not on the dating apps at the moment. Anyway, I thought those that have been part of my journey would love an update. Thank you all for everything!

XO
El