I am sorry. Has the paperwork been sent in? Finalized?
While STBXH (or XH) bounces around, flipping and flopping, do keep moving forward. Live your life. Continue your progress and growth. His confusion, that fog, is going to take quite a while to lift. If it ever does. Or if he will admit it. They do tend to dig themselves into a hole. Don’t you get mired in the bog with him.
There are many aspects of Divorce Busting. Saving yourself is one of the top tenets. It sounds like you are placing your oxygen mask on and looking after your interests. Continue to heal and grow and lead your life, allowing XH to catch up if/when he chooses to.
Remember he is like a timid squirrel and will run from suddenness, too much pressure, etc. For a while he will be “running from” things. When one is healed and is at peace with their demons they can/will “run towards” something/someone. That’s a big difference.
It’s the same for the LBS. Is one moving forward towards their headings because they aspire to be, or is it more to get away from. Be it pain, hurt, whatever.
Of course, this is not a switch. It’s nebulous. Both running to and running from are both in play for a time. Slowly the balance shifts, and the majority reason shifts. Therefore, it’s good idea to every once in a while to purposefully sit and consider one’s headings. Limits walking in circles. Sitting still is still moving forward.
The quickest way through the bog is a straight line. When one finds their life’s headings, their aspirations, and then journeys towards those; I found to be rather effective. One might spend more time, well invest more time within the crucible; which in the long run will be worth it.
Keep focusing on you. You’re doing fine.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
