I feel like he needs to be blown up on. I've expressed nothing but grief since the bomb drop. I've changed my ways and validated his feelings, pushing aside my own. But I'm in physical pain and I even ended up in the hospital for crying out loud. I feel like he's out there plotting with his friend on how not to "get screwed" and I'm just supposed to take it and be happy, because he, he thinks I'm going to be so much happier with this outcome. He sees so many great things in the future for me. Why is it so bad to make love and marriage the main focus of your life? Everything else was icing on the cake for me and I had a better chance of accomplishing my goals with him as my husband, because all I want to do right now is crawl into a ball and disappear. I feel like I've spent my entire life being rejected. I'm going to show him that he didn't marry a doormat. All I've heard from him so far is:
I want a divorce I need to find happiness I need to be healthy I love you but I'm not in love with you I want to keep lawyers out of it
What about what I want?
I had my hopes up till he actually filed. And it just hit me like a ton of bricks this morning.
